No matter how many times I think that I’ve forgotten that moment, to prove me wrong, it keeps on coming back like lingering back pain. The pictures in my head are fresh as though it happened yesterday. And like a frightened, helpless child, I stoop down behind a wall and wait for it to leave. Tick tick one! Tick tick two! Tick tick three! But when I slyly peek over the wall to see whether it’s gone or still there, being a brand ambassador of a melancholic life, I find that squirming moment right there looking at me dead in the eye.
It fucking dwells inside my head like a parasite eating me slowly. There is a door with a peephole between me and that moment. I wish I could cover this peephole forever.
At this moment, I’m standing at the door, shivering. Nervousness has vanquished my fragile calmness; I can feel my heart pounding out of my chest. I know that I’m doing wrong, but agitation along with madness is provoking me. I hear whispers – “Do it. Just one time.”
And I peek through the peephole and gaze at dead silence. Have you ever experienced a freefall? Falling is highly addictive. I can sense that something terrible is going to happen. I assure myself that there’s no one. Thus, I heave a sigh of relief.
All of a sudden, I heard a knock. It’s there!
The moment flashes.
I’m standing amongst the people, and I think I know them well. There is mayhem; my senses have become powerful. I can thus observe almost everything going around me in slow motion. I’ve never seen so many voices stalling unpleasant, rebellious music loud enough to make someone’s ears bleed. I’m confused, there’s no way that I’m going to sing along since the devil’s music is so powerful. Even if I try to attempt its notes, I’d burst the blood vessels in my vocal cords.
I live inside my head, and I don’t know whether it’s a curse or a blessing in disguise.
It fucking dwells inside my head like a parasite eating me slowly. There is a door with a peephole between me and that moment. I wish I could cover this peephole forever.
At this moment, I’m standing at the door, shivering. Nervousness has vanquished my fragile calmness; I can feel my heart pounding out of my chest. I know that I’m doing wrong, but agitation along with madness is provoking me. I hear whispers – “Do it. Just one time.”
And I peek through the peephole and gaze at dead silence. Have you ever experienced a freefall? Falling is highly addictive. I can sense that something terrible is going to happen. I assure myself that there’s no one. Thus, I heave a sigh of relief.
All of a sudden, I heard a knock. It’s there!
The moment flashes.
I’m standing amongst the people, and I think I know them well. There is mayhem; my senses have become powerful. I can thus observe almost everything going around me in slow motion. I’ve never seen so many voices stalling unpleasant, rebellious music loud enough to make someone’s ears bleed. I’m confused, there’s no way that I’m going to sing along since the devil’s music is so powerful. Even if I try to attempt its notes, I’d burst the blood vessels in my vocal cords.
I live inside my head, and I don’t know whether it’s a curse or a blessing in disguise.
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