I Read Myself

In a quest to know ourselves better, we often travel so far away from ourselves that we no longer know who we actually are.

Perhaps, the man’s search for meaning set about soon after the fear of survival dwindled to the least of his concern, and he had enough time to think about the cycle of life and death. Therefore, while lounging on a recliner inside four walls with his stomach filled and penis gratified, he contemplated the meaning of life.

Thereupon, this confused, curious man decides to go on a journey full of perils to seek the meaning which is often sympathetically mentioned as purpose. Pursuing something that can define his life, the man fails to notice that his journey has become an escape from people, who make him realise that he is merely a weak human, during sporadic encounters. Moreover, so certain of discovering the meaning, he deviates from the path to enlightenment time and again. Despite that, he makes constant sacrifices and gets back to the perilous journey and keeps on searching the meaning, until he gets tired and can’t speculate whether he is seeking the meaning, running away from everyone, or running away from himself.

Eventually, his journey comes to an end not when he finds the meaning but when he realises that there is no meaning - none whatsoever. This accumulated realisation of the truth - life is meaningless - is enlightenment which is generally misunderstood and linked with some kind of mysticism.

We define objects, physical and emotional states, and events in terms of Human Logic, Pattern, and Cause and Effect so as to comprehend this system we reside in. In spite of that, we struggle to define the very existence of the system. Thus, the infamous Origin Why (why is there anything at all) remains unanswered. This begs the question of why you want to know its answer in the first place, for the Origin Why (question) is an open invitation to a severe existential crisis in a human’s life.

We can deduce, in respect of Human Logic, that our existence, in the totality of everything comprising energy and matter, can have a purpose or no purpose. Living a life with the absence of purpose is utterly simple compared to agitating under the notion of being part of the grand plan that is governed by some rules and wasting your precious moments on the earth by means of overthinking about your role created by so-called God in this grand plan. That said, looking for a purpose becomes irrational when you are enslaved by your own mind which is filled with numerous pathways (patterns/neural circuits) that evoke happiness, surprise, disgust, sadness, anger, and fear. On the other hand, if you consider that life is meaningless, then you can attach any meaning to it.

The truth is: when the existence is about to be annihilated, men will stop by the first tavern they come across and may attempt a coitus with the first woman they see. So, what meaning are you looking for? A loaf of bread gives meaning to a hungry boy. Opulence makes more sense to women than the meaning of life itself. Likewise, men will rather go on a journey to become powerful, either mentally or physically, than seek enlightenment.

Perhaps, enlightenment is an exaggeration to cover up years of sacrifices in the name of seeking so-called the meaning of life. However, the quest to find a meaning or attach a meaning to life isn’t unimportant; the sacrifices done throughout the journey aren’t pointless. Without the quest, a man may never know how unsimple it is to comprehend and embrace nothingness.

Thus, I cordially invite you to be part of this journey.

But come unhurt and unhappy
Like a stoic, away from emotions and
without a desire or a whimsical dream to swim across an ocean
When you can sacrifice yourself for a notion
and still breathe if the notion dies
like a thought lost in translation.
Come only then.
If you cannot stand your emotions
and thoughts in stressful situations,
you needn’t be on this quest,
for the way to “nothing”
may demand “everything” from you.

May the sun shine brighter tomorrow and heal you!

***

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